Thanks. Yes, youīre right about that I want a T who isnīt cold, mechanical and distant. I donīt apprehend her to be distant or cold all the time but she lacks in how she meets with me on a more human level.
As I really want a stable and good connection with a T I assume I believed too much that the relationship with this T could offer such a connection. I will listen but I wonīt fall for her stories about her life, what have happened to her and so on. I will bare in mind that she uses her "stories" to kind of fool me to think we are partly the same, that she has gone through similar problems. She has of course but she has already dealt with them and she has nothing to do with me or my life.
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Originally Posted by BudFox
The obvious takeaway, to me, is that Sarah would like a therapist who isn't cold and mechanical and distant. These people are charging you to have a "relationship" with them, and then if that relationship is characterized by a distinct lack of warmth or genuineness, it's bound to be distressing, possibly harmful.
The handshake is beside the point. It's the way the therapist is making her feel in general. If Sarah is feeling that her therapist is heartless, guess what? She probably is. To assume otherwise would mean making logical leaps in order to cobble together some convoluted theory about projection.
The basic transaction is -- you pay me, I pretend to care. It's easy to forget that. When you are reminded, it sucks.
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