I just wanted to say about making friends (female or male) and the dog...I moved into an apartment complex when I separated from my ex and knew only one person there (I met her at a NAMI meeting years ago)...anyway, I ended up with the family dog about 6 months later and there is a dog park in my complex, as well as, a couple of city dog parks. So I started taking my dog to those places since I didn't have a yard, and I have made several friends in that way. In fact the three women I spend most of my time with are half my age! But I enjoy their company, we have the military spouse thing in common and I am sort of their mentor. We have been able to swap favors as well, watching dogs or babies and such.
So, the dog is a great idea, not only do they snuggle and love you ALL the time, they are great reasons to get out and you just end up talking to other pet owners...often starts out as, what kind of dog do you have, what's it's name, what food do you feed yours, I feed mine this, and in turn, there are lots MORE dogs to pet and love on. Win/Win for me anyway.

As for the attracting the wrong men, I am finding that I am doing the same online BUT, when the guy's handle says 'freak, looking for a freak, in bed and out' well, he's pretty much put it out there what he's all about. so I choose whether or not to go with that and most often, I play along but I don't bite. On the other hand, I have been the woman that isn't wanting a full relationship...the one guy I do like, I know that is only going to be what it is, he likes me but it won't ever go anywhere. So, I have played elsewhere as well.
When I do finally think I will want something, hopefully I will have gotten over this play thing. My ex H was not good in bed, for many years so I am sort of making up for lost time I guess. In my defense, it's been almost a year and I've only seen 3 guys, one since March and the other a couple of months recently. the third I knew was only in town for 2 weeks so that was just playtime. Sure wish I could have kept that one though, he was really sweet.

I have been getting these emails from a love guru of sorts ( I guess ), named Eric Charles and a lot of what he says makes sense. WE ladies have to have full lives of our own, so that the relationship is a bonus, not the focus of our lives. And we have to bring value to the table, it can't be all about what HE does for us, or doesn't do for us...If we are living our lives and not coming off as desperate or needy/clingy...then guys get more interested in us...that whole chase thing coming into play...that's how I have kept the one guy I know coming back, because I will back off, or if he is busy, well, so am I. I'm not going to chase him, I'm going to make him work for it. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I'm not going to be a pushover to get his attention. I personally hate the whole idea of playing games, it sucks and I"m not that good at it. But I am learning. You need to do the same. There is also a young woman on youtube named Amy Young, she is a life coach and if you can manage to bypass the salty language, she has some very good advice. I highly recommend her...do I listen to everything she says? no. probably to my detriment, but I learn as I go.

My favorite thing she says? on Mantra Monday...."Mixed signals are not my thing", that's in regards to men 'sending mixed signals'...sometimes they are clear and we choose to not listen. If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship...believe him. She doesn't mention the guys who lie, like your guy did and even my guy had this massive epic profile that stated how he was ambitious and worked hard but was good at time mgt so was able to date. THAT was a load of BS. I still like him but I figure if I meet someone else I like better, well, the first one will be gone.

I'll just say this one last thing. I'm certain you are not ugly...I feel like you have had a lot of hits to your sense of self, there may be other things as well (I am MI too)...and sometimes even if you say all the right things about yourself as far as your self esteem, what you know and what you feel are sometimes two different things. I have been in that place often. I know I am intelligent, independent, cute and sweet and a great asset to another man's life if I choose to be. BUT sometimes I don't FEEL like that. ya know?

all my best