I can try and answer by saying that I'm the sum of my experiences. Serving others is how I've made sense of my life. Turn the other cheek is probably the thing that made the most sense to me in church. There were times when I thought that it was a vehicle for my cowardice, and maybe it was sometimes, but I came to understand that I just don't like to hurt people no matter what. So I have taken on a life of service. It's not hard for me to say I'll wait until others have what they need. I know when the time will be right for me. I still believe I am the sum of my experiences. Depression creates lots of bad experiences for me that I can't fully control. However I can create good experiences that I can control and for me those are based on doing for others. Thanks for reading my ramblings and for responding. I hope you are well and that you're doing ok. I send you a big hug.