I am so sorry that you are having such a time with the dx. I don't think I know anyone who wants to have this illness but do know those that have come to terms that they do.

I too like the hypomania but know that leads to full blown mania with me. That is not good at all. A lesson I learned the hard way.

I take meds that help keep me stabalized. I resent having to do so but have learned that life overall is so much better that way. I am sorry you are reaching out for alcohol as this usually doesn't help anything. But we all make judgements that may not be the best at times. Maybe this was one on your part?

I understand the feeling of being alone and people not understanding. You have found a good group here that does understand and will listen and try to help you. I hope you find some understanding and support that you seem to be looking for.

BB