I'm upset that things have taken a turn for the worse, and of course this had to happen right after I saw my pdoc. Only a few days ago, I thought everything was looking up, as if I'm starting to gradually get out of this depressive episode I've been in. I wasn't in a "great" mood when I saw my pdoc, but I told her the depression was more manageable, which it was. She noticed a response to the increase in meds (and so did I since I have a lot more energy), so she decided to keep my meds the way they are since she recently increased my Lamictal XR, and I was recommended to see her again in one month. I really did think everything was beginning to work.

Well, just my luck....the feelings of depression came on so intensely today and suddenly. All the thoughts of self-hatred, not feeling things will get better, self-destructive thoughts (I don't want to trigger anyone), although I know I won't act on those thoughts. I don't know whether to try riding it out for a few days to see if there's improvement since I only started to feel this way all of the sudden, or if I should call my pdoc tomorrow. Although I have more energy now, I'm not sure if that's a great thing since I have a history of mania and mixed moods.

My follow up is now five weeks away! I can't think of anything that triggered these thoughts. I'm willing to give it a shot and wait to see how I feel.....but I'm not sure how long I should give myself to see if I improve? All these feelings just came down at once. What do you think I should do? Have you had that experience where your pdoc visit went well since you were feeling better, then all those horrible feelings come back shortly after, with your next follow up weeks away?