I guess I always seek admiration and do things to get there. I must admit that this is probably not beneficial to my cause but it's too easy to get caught up in this. Part of being what I am? Yes i'm sure of it but I do wish I could be better in the sense of not doing so(really?). Sure I anticipate the responses of then just do it or try harder but not so simple. Probably cause I enjoy it too much and even if it's not helpful it entertains a part of me. I know I have been known to stir the pot every now and again. You know there was a time when I wrote all about the real me and the issues I was having. I guess it's easier to fall into what I have been rather than what i'm trying to do. I have had so many loyal fans that it's really their fault that I haven't done better. Your acknowledgments have only made stay who I have been. Just like a person with NPD to blame everyone else,right? I suppose I am weak in that sense, to go along with the crowd and to keep them entertained. From here on out I will probably do the same things I always do. I bet you thought for a sec I was gonna change. HA HA, because of some of you I will never get better. Thank you for keeping me real!! Just some words for thought.
Most sincerely,
Underground
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