Thanks everyone Hugs to you all. i haven't done any more SI. My therapist is an angel - we spent 90 minutes working through my stuff. She really gets where I am coming from and is so supportive. She pointed out that I was under a lot of stress and really tried to avoid cutting. She encouraged me to call a local hotline if I get that close again to try to keep from cutting. I was pretty resistant to that ideal but she had me discuss it and knocked down most of my objections. I personally feel like cutting is nonesense for me. I hate that I keep resorting to it. It makes me feel like all the work I have done is for nought. I do know better and am not quitting hmmm, I mean I am going to continue to quit. As long as I am trying to quit I haven't totally failed.