I can relate. There is always hope, but implementation is much harder. I think having been hurt, we never unlearn the circumstances, and always watch for similar signs.

However, my idea to throw away a relationship at the first few signs of trouble went into over drive after first divorce. First marriage taught me that marriage is rarely forever. So, I lacked the same total commitment after that.

If my current husband had listened to me when I told him to leave if he didn't like __ whatever__ the issue was, but he didn't. Oh, twice he was going to pack, but I didn't let him. However, this year will be the 9th since we met, and we are p___ (okay, I am saying pretty much past - but I think without trust issues I would say past).

So we are pretty much past these fears. However for me, I will never be 100 percent certain that this future is secure. Oh, maybe in another 10-20 years I won't still hesitate at times.

I know my husband and I really want to be old together. We talk about it. He has clearly not left me, and been through really rough trust issues with me. Serious crazy times those first oh, 6-7 years. But, he is still here.

So, for me, the relationship has lasted because of his weathering the storms. I really don't think most men would have stayed with me.

My advice for people, pick a mate who can separate their emotions from what is happening and look at you objectively, and accept you. Not someone who gets caught up in the tidal waves.

But then - everyone is different. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL! Hugs.