My husband worked in mental health and his mother has bipolar. After he witnessed me go through some ups and downs he brought up bipolar. I dismissed it. My mother in law said something at a family function which I found very strange and I wondered if it had something to do with bipolar....so I started reading about bipolar online and instead of reading about her, I was reading about me! I discussed it with my husband and then had another bad episode of depression and my husband encouraged me to talk about it with a doctor. I went in and discussed it and 40 minutes later I walked out with a bipolar DX and meds for it. I accepted the DX for about an hour then it all felt too fishy...how could he diagnose me with something like this after a 40 minutes discussion where we really didn't talk about much. I decided he was full of it. Then another breakdown occurred and I believed it again and started meds. Then I decided the meds were toxic nonsense so I stopped....then something happened and I believe again....then I didn't...then I did. You see the pattern. Right now I accept I have BP and also PTSD which another doctor thought was a factor. Tomorrow I might feel different. I don't know if I ever will accept it on a constant basis. Maybe I now do? I'm not sure and only time will tell.

If there was a brain scan or blood test this would be a little simpler....I think acceptance is hard in general with this condition. Some people seem to just accept it more easily though....I wonder what their secret is.....maybe this thread will reveal something useful for both of us. (((Hugs)))