Well I remember the date I was told my diagnosis Aug 1st 2012. I was in shock I could barely speak. I knew the basics of bp. But the first thing I thought is "why could I not see this" and "why me?" I worked in mental health as social worker. I started meds and therapy to deal with the "why me"....."what did I do to deserve this". I was in therapy from Aug 2012-May 2013 and I started to get a better outlook. I had to move out of state. Then I started therapy again to deal with "where do I go from here since my old life is OVER". I had the hardest time with that. I was so sympathetic that I couldn't do the things I use to do. My old friends I told a few and they pulled away for the most part. I loved going to football, basketball games and banquets. All that was over with. Last year I pulled it together and went back for my college homecoming. There are back to back events and they last until late. I was so nervous about this. I needed to be in bed but I wanted to be out celebrating our homecoming with my old friends. When I returned back home I slept for a few days for long periods of time making up for missed sleep. I was so scared of being manic. But because of this MI I cannot do what I use to do stay out celebrating like that.
Now I have accepted that I have bp1 (2012) and schizoaffective disorder (2015). I've learned more info about both and I do agree with the diagnosis. The area I moved from had excellent MH resources. In my current area I have been able to find great support groups and programs to help with services. Only catch is you have to see there pdoc for must of the programs (I just wanted help with meds).