Quote:
Originally Posted by ElsaMars
Eating is very difficult for me at times. I go days without eating because everything seems gross, contaminated, genetically modified, etc. I'm worried I have some form of eating disorder but as my main motivation isn't to lose weight that seems unlikely. I also have very bad IBS and sometimes can't eat due to pain. I feel better when I don't eat so maybe my mind makes food "gross" to avoid pain? I don't know for sure but I think not eating for periods of time is really not helping me in the long run. I just don't know how to fix the problem.
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I had a problem with eating. Food seemed off-putting to me and I had no appetite, but did feel hunger pains, so I literally fed myself.
I am OK now.
My thinking is that it is essentially a mild form of suicidality, because normal appetite is needed for survival. When we feel like that, one of the most essential instincts is being shut off.
I also think that it is a form of depressive anhedonia, because food is associated with pleasure for a normal person.
I might be taking it too far by claiming that this is suicidality in disguise, but I think that most people would agree with me on anhedonia.