I have one best friend, and we text daily. I'll see if he's available to hang out at all this week. Other than that, I try to discuss this with online friends and none of them care or want to talk about it. Well, one did. I don't know....its like, when I start to go through a tough time, suddenly I stop existing for people online. They only want me when I'm happy, energetic and talking about things we have in common. I'm getting back into writing, journaling and photography. Tomorrow I'm going to the graveyard to do some autumn photography, actually. Then to an old cider mill to take more pictures.

But it still gets to me at times. It breaks through the cracks and I start to get tears in my eyes. I'm doing everything I can to hold myself together and have creative outlets. But I wish I had more friends. But I just don't. Not many people care about me. Including family. I'm estranged from my family because of my mental health issues. That's a whole other can of worms though. This whole year, I've tried to handle everything, and face everything, on my own. Which worked well up until the nervous breakdown.