T has been sending me emails saying she is worried about me and asking what she can do to help. She said she will always endeavour to see me, speak to me and support me either now or in the future and that if I choose more local therapy, her door will always be open for me. And to let her know if a more regular appointment on a Thursday afternoon would be helpful.

I responded by saying that I can't process my thoughts and feelings at the moment and don't really know what I want or need. The thing is, she told me in an email a few days ago that she has nothing available at the moment on a Thursday. The next thing, she suddenly can see me on a Thursday. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be the one that puts her out, that takes away some of her free time. Or is that just ungrateful?

T then sent another email saying she is concerned for my wellbeing and she asked if I need to see my doctor, if she can help me find more local therapy or if an appointment next week with her would help.

I didn't reply yesterday. This morning I got another email from T saying she doesn't want to bombard me with emails but that she wants me to know she is concerned and to not hesitate to contact her if she can help.

I feel that she cares about me. I really do. But don't know whether I need to point out her inconsistencies regarding her availability and how her not replying quick enough to my emails is really upsetting. I feel she hasn't answered important bits in my emails regarding my panicky feelings that she is withdrawing from me or becoming less available and will then leave me. I just don't know if I am being ungrateful for what I have and what she gives me or whether I really have a valid point???