i understand what yo umean. however. i think there is one somethign rel that could be done which will make things more clear...when they seam unreal....i thoguht of somehting now 4got. bu i also used to SI because of it. because i kinda like felt somewaht unreal.

talking out loud doesn`t help you feel more real?
(when you can) i undesrand that if it would you wouldn`t SI but sometimes we forget the more simple things...

remember that if you are hiding things fomr therapists, the work you are doing is nto as efficiant as it oculd be....i am not telling you to do anyhting i jsut thoguht that it`s still important to remember although i understand your choice.