So there I was sitting very quietly reading my scriptures when about three people walked into the church. I greeted each one as they sat down, but it still seemed like something was missing. Ah ha my wife. Yes I went to church this morning without my wife (early service) not even sure if she went to the late service. I am trying to distance myself from her so that I can get my head screwed on straight. I think I have finally come to the source of all my problems...ready? It is me. I am in constant control of making myself happy and I should not really worry about what anyone else says. The way I feel is the way I think. Over these past three days of soul searching and self examination I realize that for the longest time I tried my hardest to make sure other people were happy and that I was accepted. This was very toxic for me because I did not take time for myself. I also realized that due to my anger I felt guilt as well. I love my wife dearlly and I hope that she knows it, I also love my kids. I would just like for her to see that I have made the positive changes that I should have made. I go see my T on Tuesday for a follow up, I am going to take all the materials I have been working on for him to take a look at things. I am a new man, I am not chained by others happiness. Now don't get me wrong I will not step on anybody so that I can be happy. But if one of my friends or my wife is not happy I am not going to think that it was because of something I did. Once that stress was lifted off of me I was able to breath again. I am able to be a better person. I am alive again. May God bless you all.