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sister said:
((((EV))))
It sounds perhaps you are becoming aware of all the different parts of you and that you wish T to know them all....I had this happen recently too and it can be very frightening but my T said it's conventional wisdom currently that we all have different parts of ourselves. Of course, some parts may need integration and that will happen in time.
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Thats very True. I actually recently was talking to my T about it so its amazing you said this.
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pinksoil said:
I do that with my T. We talked about it yesterday. Try and get him to see the worst side of me-- then check to see if he's gonna stick around. Like a test.
.... It's okay to test your T-- a lot of us have had such unstable upbringings, how else are we to figure out that our Ts are gonna stay?
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I'm just worried the testing part will never end. When will I learn?
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Moonkin said:
You're not a horrible person no matter how much you want to be!
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I definately think I struggle with this. What is a horrible person. Isn't there one. I guess I figure if the answer is yes, I qualify.
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alexandra_k said:
i said that i was scared that he would get to know me better and feel repulsed / disgusted by me. sometimes i think i act kinda 'bad' too. partly to push him away before he gets too close and rejects me. partly maybe to test him to see whether he will find me repulsive.
and sometimes i act nice and good and stuff, because i think if only i can act good enough then maybe he won't leave me.
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I am very similar.. I'm both afraid I'm so bad she'll hate me or too good, she will be bored with me.
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Ihurt2 said:
I go through all that stuff too--at least you know you do it because I can't tell untill its too late
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selfy said:
i think a lot of ppl feel thatway. it doesnt mean its true.
self
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Thanks selfy and hurt2... Sometimes it is nice to know others feel the same way.
ev