I have horrible low self esteem and I'm constantly always comparing myself to others. I've been abused and I get triggered a lot sometimes. The minute I get triggered I immediately start crying and hate who I am inside and think that the person is better than me. I'm not a jealous type at all and I don't control people at all but whenever I get upset I get angry at myself for crying because I think I'm stupid. I even call myself stupid sometimes. I'm my own worst enemy and feel inferior to others. Anytime someone picks on me or says anything mean about me, I let their opinion take over and sometimes I agree with them even. Once I told someone, "Yeah I know. You're right. I suck as a person." The person who was picking on me even was shocked and ended up leaving me alone.

I don't have any hate inside me towards anyone. If anything I only dislike myself. My therapist told me that I should be more gentle on myself and stop beating myself up constantly. Right now I'm in therapy because I was abused by my ex boyfriend and bullied. My ex bf broke me down. Now I feel so low.

Believe I always had low self esteem issues though and I'll get into that on a different thread. I no longer go to my friends about my issues anymore really because I hate putting my issues on them and I want people to think that I'm happy... but deep down I'm not. Hate looking like I'm weak because I'm afraid of people picking on me and saying something mean to me. I say sorry a lot of the time. Sometimes I say sorry when I didn't even do anything wrong and I constantly always feel as if I have to explain myself to people a lot of the time. Another thing I do is whenever people compliment me, I don't know to take it. Just got done crying a little while ago and I feel awful.