My T is 2600 miles away and has been all week. His trip won't interfere with our weekly schedule, but I still feel like he is very far away. He is gone, and I have to deal with life on my own.

It's been a really hard week. My husband came to me 5 nights ago and said he wants to list my diamond ring on the assets list for our divorce. This was a gift from him to me 8 years ago, kind of a belated engagement ring (when we got married, we only had wedding bands), given on our 12th anniversary. It really hurt, like he is asking for his ring back, a symbol of our marriage. If the ring goes on the assets list and I want to keep it, I have to pay him for it. Yuck. The fact that he asked for it to be on the list invalidates its meaning for me. The only other pieces of property on our assets list are our cars and our house. I have not requested that any of his expensive "toys" go on our list. I just assumed he would keep them and I would keep my stuff, including the ring. This is the only piece of expensive jewelry I have. I guess I could request all of his expensive "stuff" go on our assets list. But I don't want this to become "tit for tat" and escalate into a my penny, your penny war.

A couple of days ago, he moved out. We are officially separated now. It was gut wrenching, even though we both wanted it. I've been trying to give my kids the emotional support they need, as they are feeling it too. It is hard to believe it is over. It would be easier if I would just never see him again, but when you have kids, it doesn't work that way.

To top it off, I've been sick for close to 3 weeks now. I think my immune system is shot from the stress. And a couple of weeks ago I started taking these blasted female hormones to help control the pain due to a large growth on my ovary. Taking hormones affects my mood in a big way. I'm ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Other times I'm just depressed. I can't even tell what is real anymore--am I really upset or is it just hormones? How can I possibly get through our big legal meeting later this week without bursting into tears? That would be so awful, so embarrassing. I can't do this.

I would feel better if T were in town. Even if I didn't call him, at least I would know he is only 10 miles away. That's kind of dumb, I guess. I feel alone. I hope his plane doesn't crash.