Sunny-- Wow. So much stress. I understand you being worried about T-- especially since I am terrified of airplanes. But he will be back.

I understand what you mean about him being 2600 miles away vs. 10 miles, even if you don't call him. I felt the same when my went away. When he came back I did not call for a couple days but it was nice enough to know his presence was nearby.

I truly admire you for what you have endured. Allow yourself some time to fall apart a bit-- I think you need to. Your body is telling you this. When it is time for the meeting go back to Strong Sunny-- and then let go for a little bit afterwards. I do that a lot-- I designate 'strong' and 'fall apart' times for myself in order to get through certain situations and become emotional when I need to.

When does your T come back?