I feel like my mind is going crazy. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I have ideas of being just majorly depressed, or not, I really dont know. Everything is confusing to me;I dont know what is right or wrong; real or fake (reality); who I am; what my problem is. There are times when I have been happy with my life to an extent and then I start to think... I start to feel unsure of what I am feeling. Even if I show signs of being happy, sad, angry, scared I cannot tell if I really feeling that way. I always thought of my ways of thinking and actions are just an excuse to get out of things because I do things to benefit myself and avoid the things I hate. But at the same time, maybe it is self-habits, I cant stop what I am feeling. Emotions, feelings, my whole life is confusing to me. Each and every day I feel I am trying to do something to impress someone, to fit in. Even if I do have depression, I would act that way to my friend who knows about it. Then when I am in a happy environment I become this weird, funny person. I keep trying to find out what is wrong with me, but it just gets more confusing and frustrating. I have great friends, I think, well I am grateful to have them. But at the same time, I always feel a sense of loneliness, ignored, alienated. When I am around people, I would feel that they hate me, dislike me in a way, pity me. And, honestly, I really cannot stand the way I judge someone because no one likes to be judged and I dont want to misjudge them. But I feel that I have no control over my mind and feelings. And I hate myself even more just thinking why I cant be sure of what I am. Someone could be sure of having bipolar issues and I feel that I keep thinking I MIGHT have it just because someone else has it. My whole like has always consisted of impressing someone, trying to fit in, copying someone. And I try and use whatever method to distract myself from thinking those things, because once I start to think all hell breaks loose in my head. I just keep hating myslef for being like this and I am not sure of what is wrong with me. This was just a brief bio of my problems.........