oh my goodness i just dont know what to think i think she is wanting to get rid of me or is at the least tired of me. with my health problems things have been a bit crazy with my being able to go to therapy . i canceled last week because i was in hospital and then cancled for today because i had a appointment with a surgeon.that got moved to monday and i was given the ok to drive so i called her as asked if it was ok if i came in today .she said yes . i got there today and one of the things she said was that she wanted to do was to figure out the schedule so i dont need to worry about missing appointments and then said she was thinking it would be best not to schedule me for next week so im not stressed . i guess i overstepped her boundaries by asking for my apt back.i told her that i would be fine unless she didnt really want to . she raised her voice and said stop saying that .she just seemed to be angry with me most of the time today . it was an angry your annoying me kind of stop saying that . like i was being needy and needing reassurance . anyway so i am scheduled for my triple bypass on nov 16th so i told her i could come to my appointments until then so then she was saying as long as you will be able to handle coming and walking up the stairs and so on . it just seemed like she didnt really want me to come anymore .im hurt . so she then said she will not be working next thursday so i wont see her until the thursday after that .dec 3.this was the first time i have seen her in a month. and missing a session again and then she said the next would be the 10 th and she would have to see me later or something . she just seemed so annoyed at me .again like she didnt want to see me again .i dont know what i did .i have always paid her when i have missed therapy even with ample notice and i will pay her for last weeks session .i dont know why she is so upset .
and then we talked about my familys involvement with my surgery .my first response when i was told this was i want my mother . i wanted to talk to her about this and my family also .she started raising her voice telling me to not contact the mother . i tried so hard to just talk about my feelings about it . she even said that i could come and talk about it all i want with her but i was not to contact her . i tried to talk to her but she was getting angry at everything i was saying and only telling me she would not allow it if the mother came here after my surgery that she believes the stress would possibly kill me . i was not going to contact her but i so wanted to talk to her about those feelings and it just upset her .she was so harsh . she was telling me i just need to let it go to just give it up . the hope that i will have a loving mother . she was so angry at me for the whole session . i feel horrible and i will only get to see her 2 more times before surgery