Hey all,

I scheduled an appointment with T on 11/1. My grandma passed away Wednesday night 8pm'ish. I'm struggling horribly with, I guess the best way to describe it is, a detachment from self and everything around me. Nothing, not even my own thoughts and feelings, feel real. Honestly, It's all just too much. I'm also sick of the family drama since grandma's dementia got bad years ago. It's unbearable. Just the thought of disappearing sounds really good(not suicide). After the funeral next week, of course. My lifelong friend and bunches of recovery friends are SUPER supports. Thank God! It just all feels like a really bad nightmare I'm waiting to wake up from. I probably should email T this but I will just wait., like I said, I have lots of support, so I should be okay. If it gets too bad I'll email T about things. We'll see.