PrevT said, no.

CurrentT said, yes. I could see a flash of devastation cross her face when she answered me. She has had a client sui.
I don't know what I was expecting asking the question.

Her answer was helpful because intellectually I know if I did it, my DD and grandson would be devastated, as well. But seeing that emotion play over T's face made me rethink the subject. She connected with me emotionally.

I wonder if that's why currentT is the first T I have ever had say to me-
"Here's my cell phone number, call anytime. Email anytime" - as often as I want. And we set guidelines for what she might consider "too much" or over stepping boundaries. I don't want to be a burden.

You would think i should know how it feels to have someone close to you sui-


But sometimes when I get into dark places and it hurts so much, all I can think about is getting my own pain to stop.

It's made me rethink the subject.

Also, years ago when I was in a bad place, my family doctor refilled my sleeping med but said to me with an edge in his voice, "Don't you dare use these to overdose"- it never occurred to me that the MD would be angry if I tried something like that.

I guess I care too much how other people feel. But their comments did expand my world view. Is that insight? Dunno.