It seems you dont know who you are, or what you like or dislike.
I was like that, for me I was never 'seen' or 'heard' as a child, pretty much ignored really.
Mother let it known she thought me stupid, fat, lazy, ugly.
Never 'fantastic' compared with my older sister, smart, attractive, sassy, extrovert and powerful, mother adored her. Odd because sis was actually a hard nosed loud mouth b##ch.
I was the scapegoat, laughed at, dumped on.
I never knew who I was or what I liked. Boy, I HATED myself. No ego, no self esteem. Sometimes I would look in the mirror and wonder 'Whos that?'

Sounds like your family is a tad dysfuntional and you are struggling with it. I dont know how old you are? cos my advice would be to get away from home asap. It sounds like a very toxic enviroment. Hard to be healthy in a toxic place.
I know who I am now, I know what colour I like, the people I like and why. Self esteem is the secret. You have no self esteem. This can change.
Can you see your doctor and have a chat with them? If you can't explain write a note and give that to the doc (thats what I do)