Thank you all for responding to my question!

((MP)) ~ You are right. I am able to logically see that I need to go slowly. But, I still seem to be on overdrive emotionally, despite what my brain knows. I realllly need to work on getting back into "wise mind".

((((Anrea))))) ~ Things really went downhill after the end of my marriage as well. I was pretty decent and solid before that ended & I've been shaken down to my core ever since. In and out of an unhealthy relationship for the past 6 years ~ and the last year I have been going crazy! I am trying SO HARD to be a decent person, but I keep leaving a wreck in my wake. The past 4 months or so have been insane for me. I feel like a tornado of emotions all of the time.
Kudos to you and your 2nd husband for sticking through the rough times. It is darn hard! I currently have a new boyfriend who is madly in love with me, despite my crazy ride. A little bit of me hopes, just hopes, that maybe I can finally make it out of the tornado...and find some clear skies. He certainly deserves that. And while I've made some huge mistakes recently, maybe I deserve a little piece of clear skies too.

(((Fuzzybear))) I'm happy to hear that there's a little bit of hope out there for my future.

(((((Asphyxia))))))
I am sorry for the misery that you've had to go through recently. I hope that your world improves soon.