Unfortunately there is a lot of trial and error involved with meds. What works for one won't necessarily work for another. Just because some have horrible side effects for you doesn't always mean they all will

I'm not a good example of saying whether meds work or not, I have issues staying compliant which does not help matters.

I just wanted to add though that taking an anti depressant doesn't make you a failure at all. Depression is an illness, just like any other. Would you feel a failure if you had to take medication for a physical illness to make you well again?