i've been really down the past week. the only 'good' thing has been a total lack of anxiety (which is very rare for me). but i'm starting to feel like i'm just drifting away, like my brain is covered with cotton or i'm half-asleep. last night i fell asleep with the light and my glasses on and i woke up feeling really confused and disoriented - the way you do when you nap too long - and it's like the feeling won't go away. kind of a hypnogogic nightmare. i think about the fact that i have to get up and get something from across the room and it seems so hard. the thought of moving my body makes me want to cry. i was 4 hours late to work. then again, i made muffins last night and cleaned and even scrubbed the bathtub. i just have this weird feeling of unreality and like i'm losing touch - like i need a giant slap in the face to wake me up. i feel like i've been drugged, which in itself makes me sort of panicky. so now i'm back to feeling sad and anxious. how do i get rid of this feeling? i feel trapped.
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