Questions for you to ponder

(That you don't have to answer here of course)


Is there any validity in anything he said?

For example, did your friend inadvertently play the role of round the clock therapist?

Do you have a tendency to focus on the negative and complain fairly often?


Round the clock arm chair therapy = mental anguish and burn out.


Complainers = Debbie Downers, who tend to be negative which then taints the positives of the relationship.


Both these scenarios are emotionally and psychologically exhausting.


The reason I pose these questions is this:


Sometimes when these conversations / arguments happen we tend to dismiss everything the person is saying to us because they're being hurtful. But sometimes there is validity in what they're trying to communicate to us. Sometimes there is something to be learned, about ourselves, or about how we are perceived, and even about how we can improve.


But that is often times lost in the delivery of the message or the emotional response the message has provoked.


I've learned to try and look past the provoked emotion and have asked (my bf and brother) for improved delivery, (they tend to be very blunt and when a topic is touchy I need them to be a bit gentler)... This has strengthened my relationships.


With all that said, I really am sorry you're so hurt, maybe, hopefully he's just burnt out from second hand MI and needs time to recalibrate.


I hope you feel better soon.