</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perhaps you still see yourself as you used to be instead of seeing yourself as you are now.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I like that idea. Maybe there is something to it. And maybe I'm afraid to show progress due to fear of abandonment. And also I got slammed growing up for trying to be better than I really was. I wasn't allowed to try to present myself in a positive light - it was like that would be dishonest and unacceptable.

I know that I still don't communicate clearly and directly much of the time, so that is something to work on. When I can communicate assertively and not feel bad for trying it, that will be progress. I wonder if I asked T what she would consider progress, if she would tell me anything. I'm not even very clear on what her expectations are. I just know she doesn't think I'm meeting them.