Btw, I got some major props from my son's therapist about how I dealt with his father. She said I did a great job of being non-reactive, which was the best thing I could do in this situation, and she even wanted to use my emails as examples and templates for other families. She said my pared down explanations - which I'm not even sure if they're completely accurate or not, I was trying to give an impression that I had thought out my choices vs just giving straight facts - was exactly the response that was required. And no more tantrums, no more lawyer talk, as of now. I'm going to try not to be surprised by any future interactions, whether they are completely rational or off the rails or some combination of the two, and to not take what he says personally.