Four days ago, I felt like my meds finally filled cement into the holes in my brain. I neither felt too excited nor depressed. It was a weird feeling. Is that what normal people feel?

Anyway I think I ****ed it up by smoking weed before bed the other day. ...now I feel paranoid and like people are thinking the worst. I couldn't get the image of my wife cheating out of my head. I slept on the couch. I was SO MAD. This morning I feel a bit better, little paranoia still but not like last night.