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Originally Posted by Scotch
Thank you for sharing the previous post. We're just generally not very open about our affairs with the public folk. In other terms, we just sort of don't think it's any of their business.
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Please believe me that I respect each of our decisions on how we deal with this and do not believe that there is a one size fits all approach to this but I would like to discuss this further if you are willing.
Do I think my mental health issues are anyone's business besides mine and my health care providers? Absolutely not. That said, keeping it a secret interferes with my ability to be authentic - the lack of which harms us. I have never volunteered our reality with anyone for conversation fodder, attention or judgment - but, to borrow the example I used above, what do I say when it is my turn to choose the music and the 'Disney channel' is the only thing we want to hear? I've two choices: Tell the truth or lie.
Lying does damage to our sense of self because we want to see ourselves as honest and trustworthy. Telling the truth opens us up to questions that we can't answer honestly without telling them about ourselves - or we lie. If we're going to resort to lying then what was the point of us telling the truth in the first place?
So yes, I agree with you unequivocally that it is none of their business - but being true to ourselves is our business. And we are the honest and truthful kind.
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Originally Posted by Scotch
Sure, it'd be nice to have them refer to us in plural forms to have that sense of support but then they (as in the public or anyone that happens to find out about "Us") would probably be expecting to talk to us individually all the time and that's not generally something that one of us three would probably like. (Not the host)
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I have not found this to be the case for us. I still front most of the time. While it is common for my alter to show up at work, she can do certain aspects of my job and so, for all intents and purposes, no one knows that we've switched. Okay, there are occasions where someone will ask a question and she answers and it would be kind of obvious to my wife or T that they are talking to her - but co-workers are unsure. No one has ever asked to speak to her directly - ever, although there have been times that they have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotch
Basically, not generally afraid of anyone finding out because we would probably end up stonewalling them off before they could get that close and also it doesn't happen to be any of their business as we're not lab animals to be tested on or toyed with.
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Get this too - just never had the experience of someone testing or toying with us in a work situation. If they did, I suspect it would not happen a second time. As I said, I'm extremely protective of her and there would be no mistaking how I felt about that.
Anyway, I just want to close with reiterating that I have nothing but respect for your decision to live your life in the way that makes you most comfortable and safe. Just offering another perspective in friendship and camaraderie.