Hello oldleolion: I'm sorry you find yourself to be in such a difficult situation. Hopefully being here on PsychCentral can be of some comfort & support.

I would hate to be in the position of pronouncing your situation hopeless. But the ball is really in your wife's court. If she will not seek treatment for whatever is going on with her, & she's determined to leave you, then realistically there may simply be little you can do.

You mentioned the two of you have been married for 58 years & that your wife has a personality disorder. I presume you're both fairly elderly. I wonder if there is a possibility your wife is developing some senior dementia & this is contributing to her present mental state. It might be worth having this evaluated. Of course, here again, she has to be willing to do so. If she's not then there may be little you can do.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!