Eden, I understand how hard it can be to believe you need these meds or even have this diagnosis. You are young and I imagine that makes it even harder; I fought tooth and nail against a depression diagnosis at your age.

I think that your recent posts are a good sign. Something is making you start to question things.

Would you consider setting goals and really sticking to them? Like really committing to taking meds every day for 6 months to see how you feel at the end of that? If you did this you'd really benefit from making sure your treatment providers document how you are before starting the meds so that you can hear what they saw later on.

I don't know; I just know that trying things for smaller time increments helped me at first. Granted the first thing I tried was therapy and I will be honest, I spent about 6 months fighting the therapist as hard as I could. I would refuse to talk and would just sit in his office and resist him. But then it clicked and while I never did learn to talk to him I learned to write to him and he helped me immensely. He is a big part of why I am whom I am now. Starting to open up to him when I thought I was fine was so hard but I decided maybe he was right and that I should talk about things from my past and once I started and really worked with him it was obvious he was right. But I had to really make myself commit to it.

Would you think about trying that? Or something similar? Only you can know exactly what you can best try but there is always something. Even if there is no mental illness people can always better themselves.