I think you can be whoever you are with friends...they have proven that they WANT to be around you...

But we do have to exist in a society...as my mom says, "no man is an island". If you want relationships, then yes it requires a certain amount of effort and it has to be positive and not negative.

So it depends, I guess.

As for your statement of "I am unlovable"...well, I don't know you so I can't dispute it, but everyone has redeeming features, so I think it's a little bit of a harsh criticism of yourself.