HONOLULU (Bipolar News Network): Severe post-mania anxiety has catastrophically compromised local negotiator Lefty the Salesman; this morning he stepped down hard, ceding responsibility for all family business and household finances to his spouse, who shall remain nameless in the interest of operational security.

Lefty will continue working for the family in his capacities as bookkeeper, broker and risk analyst and will prepare weekly reports for his spouse, but she will ultimately fulfill executive and planning responsibilities that were, up until this morning, Lefty's.

The Salesman discussed the transition briefly at a sparsely-attended secret news conference in a private residence in Lower Bertram Ward, stating, "I regret that I have but one mind to lose for my family." He mentioned the possibility of a return to Mother Lithium and a trial of low-dose Haldol. To his clients, colleagues, strategic partners and competitors from whom Lefty had hidden his bipolar diagnosis, the Salesman said only, "Secret's out, mo*********rs."