i am sorry to bizi i was not meaning to direct my post to them more the other posters. bizi was the only one who had actually tried to answer my question and i thank you for that. i will ask my treatment team as you suggest but they have a history of not answering my questions. i am not trying to scare or frustrate people but i just honestly dont think i am sick i feel fine and it is hard when everyone keeps getting annoyed at me for not believing them when i cant i have tried but i just dont and lying to myself about what i believe is worse.