(((((((((((((( Tomi )))))))))))))

I am in the same type of situation with my first ex and my children. I said when we divorced that he would end up a lonely and sick old man before his time and that's exactly what has happened.

Through the years, when the girls needed help with dealing with his abusive ways (emotional, physical, alcohol etc) I have always made myself available. Regardless of what he has become, he is still their father (for what he's worth).

Even though there were hard times and feelings between us in the past, I have to admit, when I see him looking like the shell of a man that he is, it tugs at my heart strings. It's not that I have any feelings for him, but just that he is a human being and I hate to see human beings suffering, regardless of who or what they are. I would assume that you too feel the same way.

I don't think it's unusual at all for you to feel the way you are. Remember, even though you learned that you married him for what you "thought" was love....you still married him and had a relationship with this man. And, even though you are angry over how he hurt you, when a person is compassionate, it's hard not to feel some sort of sad feelings for what he is now going through.

Does that mean that you need to get involved more than in a supportive role for your children through this? Absolutely NOT. Does it mean you are a bad person for not getting more involved? Absolutely NOT.

Be a mom....be supportive of what your kids are dealing with and say a prayer for your ex.....For that is what your compassion brings to you.



sabby