I've only just started looking into sexual identities, and there is so much information and grey areas- it's all pretty confusing. I thought I'd post here and have the pros help me with what I'd be called.

I've concluded that I'm demisexual at least... either that or somewhere between demisexual and asexual, which is how I ended up on this site.

I only develop any kind of attraction (sexual or romantic) to someone I'm already good friends with or have known for a long time... I include kissing in "sexual attraction". I've tried dating people I'm not already attracted to, seeing if anything would develop, and it never does that way. It was also only after I've dated quite a few times that I started realizing that I might be different from the "norm", because apparently I never act up to my dating partner's expectations.

I can't do one night stands or even sexual behavior with someone I'm not already attracted to myself first (that must have developed over time, being demi).

I have crushes, but also only after I've gotten to know or observe the person for awhile- it's never right off the bat. I imagine holding hands and light touching and the person reciprocating my crush/attraction, but I'm not a fan of cuddling or being extremely grabby.

The idea of vaginal sex that includes myself totally repulses me. I don't want anything to do with it.

But I do like to please my partner sexually to arouse/satisfy them in other ways (other than vaginal sex), and that makes me happy and arouses me. But I don't need them to do the same to me in return.

I'm also pretty confused with what defines "romantic attraction" and "sexual attraction". It's all just "attraction or not" to me. There's either attraction or there's no attraction, and attraction (for me) includes both a desire to please them sexually AND being intimate with light touching or holding hands and being mentally close. Never one or the other.

I don't desire sexual behavior without attraction, and I don't feel attraction without desiring sexual behavior.

... Maybe that had a lot of info that has nothing to do with it. But like I said, I'm pretty confused what matters and what doesn't.