((((((((( venusss )))))))))

Thanks for explaining things to me.

I guess it doesn't really matter what the reason is for putting up a wall and not being nicey nicey. I get it.

It doesn't surprise me that you feel as you do considering what you and your countrymen and women live through. Living in Eastern Europe has it's own unique issues and since you seem to be very interested and concerned about your political and social issues, I certainly can understand how you could feel angry and it just pops up or lingers day to day.

I think the fact that you are aware of it, that you know you are having some dark thoughts as you say, is half the battle. I for one don't believe that you are unlovable in any way shape or form. All of us have redeeming qualities and all of us deserve love and compassion. Whether or not we feel we get that is another story.