I ama 17 year old who has suffered depression for about 5 years, i have long periods of depression which peaked about 3 years ago. I feel depressed, energyless, like theres no point to anything etc for 2monthsish then maybe up to 2 weeks(rare usually about 5 or 6 days) of being me, confidant, energised happy. Then back to depression, ive recently gone into upper sixsth form and am in the "popular" people group, i am a clever person but ruin myself by simply refusing to do schooolwork (i have no idea why), i have a stable family mother and father married 23 years and have never had to deal with death in my family. so why have i had this?
The first thing people realise about me is that i look depressed and miserable, about 6 people mentioned it who i had never met before within 2 days of entering sixsth form, as did the keeper where i go beating, and i have been told numersous times i look unnaproachable. I am unpredictable and get angered at the slightest nuisance. But my family are used to it. I cant tell them about it, nobody knoows anything about it but me and it is grinding inside me, i have bottled anger which i am sick of harbouring.
the thing is that it has only been the last month or so the anger has really built up and the depression has got worse than usual, i am sick of it and want to see a psychiatrist butcant tell my parents, what the hell should i do and how can i help myself?
any answers are welcome and thatnks for it.