there is already a thread on pretending in this forum but my views are different than that thread so to not hijack that other thread I decided to start my own thread...

i did not have a problem with pretending and socializing. with me my alters had their own sense of agency (see link at bottom of post) with me and my alters there was no pretending. I did not have to pretend to be like others or pretend to like or dislike someone in social settings or avoid social settings because o my having DID before all my alters were integrated. I didnt even know I had DID until I was an adult in a collage psych course where one of the class and homework assignments was to do a psychiatric exam and enter therapy for that semester. that was those of us that were in college psych courses as part of becoming treatment providers would have both sides of the career...being a client and also training for our chosen careers.

with having alters that had their own sense of agency my system did not have to worry about fitting in, pretending and whether or not to socialize. if one or the other or the body born were in a situation that was triggering\ uncomfortable another who could handle that situation took control. As a result of having this kind of system I and my alters, socialized much more than I would have with out having DID, I had many friendships and such with co workers I would not have otherwise had if I hadnt had DID, I didnt have to pretend to fit in because if I didnt fit in, an alter that did fit in would take control.

I think of it this way...I had more than 5 alters, each one of those alters had their own sets of friends, for example using just 5 alters if each alter had two friends thats 10 friends more than I would have had if I was not DID, thats 10 social situations if I hadnt had DID that would have made me think I needed to pretend or not socialize/ be apart of, but because I had such a system where each of my alters had their own sense of agency thats 10 friends and social situations we fit in with, no pretending was needed.

no one in this body or the body born had to pretend to be someone or something they were not, pretend for socializing and such, dont get me wrong secrets were kept its just that it was done in a way that did not require pretending. it was more everyone the body born included just didnt answer those questions that would have revealed secrets.

like I said I know that there is another pretending thread for those who have had to pretend, and I know having this kind of system (not pretending) is different than some others, but I wanted others like me to have the same opportunity to discuss this side of having DID (the side of not having to pretend, miss out on social opportunities ...) , just like having a system where pretending was needed has a thread for that discussion.