Wow, that was alot to take in, but i do agree. My current environment thinks that the meds solve it all, and that it was just a chemical thing. I really tried to get help on a conversational basis. Someone to sit there and help me organize my thoughts, my past experiences, and where to go in the near future. I am at that point in my life that where i am begining to get the things i always wanted, but with a catch. I am emotionless to it. Right now i just want to be pushed in a good direction. I want that drive that i once had to achieve what i have now. I am only 21. I own my house, just got a brand new car, have a wife, a wonderful daughter, and the best pitbull in the world. Where now? I did that all on my own. I have been non stop until right now. today. I sit here writing this just wondering now what. Now the curve ball. I deploy on in a week, next monday. The only thing i see coming from this is 6 months to get back in the abyss i was in, and trying hard to get out of. It could, however go another route, which i am trying to figure out. I can use the next 6 months to focus on me. To really think about my life, and answer such questions others throw my way. That is the route i want to take. I dont know where to start, or how to grow with it, so i dont run my self in circles. Only time will tell. Thank you for that post, that really triggers self thought.