From reading what you wrote it sounds to me that your mother did not want to raise a child but just have someone to control.

It also looks like you learned that you have to give in and take care of others because of how your mother raised you.

It also sounds like your mother's mother had strange behaviors when it came to others and her own child, your mother.

Be careful about telling yourself you were abused, I recommend that instead what you can say is that you were not raised well and your mother had stange ideas about how to raise a child and was a lonely woman who had psychological challenges that presented inappropriate demands on her child. I say it like this because I don't think your mother set out to intentionally abuse, instead she had very unhealthy ways/ideas of how to raise children.