Or terrified. You tell me. I am terrified something catastrophic will happen. I have a sense of impending doom warning me that I am certainly going to die. I know that I am getting worse. What if my mind is gone forever. I convinced myself that if I stabbed myself in the stomach I would live but be able to stop moving. I was medicated enough not to do it. I am once again afraid that my pdoc will come in this site and find me and think I'm an idiot. I'm Fraid that terrorists are after my city next. That I am going to die. That I will be institutionalized for the rest of my life. I feel so unsettled. There is a wave of evil covering me. I don't think I can do this. I am afraid to get out of bed to get my kids ready for bed. I'm afraid if what I will find.