Honestly? In my years of raising my own child and being around children, I have seen a lot of mothers act like they are good mothers when they were not. When you look at that list you wrote, what your mother did was give you what she knew how to give you, and in many cases that is often handed down from parent to child and from what you mentioned about your mother and her mother's relationship, that was dysfunctional.

My concern is that one of the things I have noticed about this forum is how a lot of individuals put a lot of focus on using the word "abuse" and my concern was how that can be "self traumatizing". Also if someone is challenged with bipolar, that doesn't mean that person will behave like your mother did. Actually, some very intelligent, well read individuals that are good parents can struggle with bipolar.