I see where your thoughts are going. I'm a big believer in self fulfilling prophecies. You are right, in the end you are left with the chicken and egg question. Anything I might be doing is completely subconscious which is technically still "me" but not exactly. I like to think I will be able to control my moods in the future. I hope that knowlege is power when fighting my illness and I will have control once I break the code.