Spoke to my T. He is concerned about my obsessional thoughts and my safety. Tonight I am going to try extra meds to calm down and touch base with my T tomorrow. If I get worse he wants me IP. I am so panicked and scared. The thoughts in my head are terrifying. Really hoping the meds work and I can pull out from this dive very soon. I don't want to go to hospital. It feels like a failure. I was last in there four months ago and was hoping to at least make it 6 months between admissions. Petty issue I am sure but the little things bug me at the moment. My mind is a war zone.