To start with why I am on this forum, I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar 2 about a year ago and my wife was recently diagnosed ADHD-PI, though she always somewhat knew she was ADHD. I'm an engineer, so you might guess how I approach things, and she has graduated law school but works as a program coordinator for a non-profit. This will probably be a little long, but it's hard to judge from a smartphone. I don't want a he is right she is right response, I need to vent a little and maybe have someone try to see it from her perspective(which I'm sure will be skewed by what i think happened) to help me out.

My wife and I were supposed to have a nice 5 day weekend this past one and our 22mo old son was staying with my parents to give us alone time for our Anniversary. It turned out as we got closer, she needed to do some work during our weekend. I said it was ok, but I was clearly disappointed, and further disappointed as the time went from just Wednesday, to some of Thursday, to some of Friday as well. It drew a divide between us the whole weekend.

It didn't help that we didn't seem to see how the time she spent working should be used. It was her thought we could spend it doing things she needed to get done for work as well, like clean and organize her home office since it had gotten out of hand. Long story short the only time she actually asked me to help her with the office was Sunday night and it was less than effective because she wanted me to bring out ALL of her paperwork to go through since doing it in her office would possibly wake the baby in the next room over. I didn't understand she wanted all of it, that didn't make sense to me to take her whole office out of the room to put it back in. I don't even know what is actually important, but I guess if it were all of it, that wouldn't matter.

On the flip side, I wanted to change the oil in all of our cars, possibly build some shelves for storage in the basement and her office, and now the lawn. I did get one car, while she was out of the house, but the lawn mower was giving me trouble (not her fault obviously) and I didn't end up having time to do anything else.

We fought for I would guess at least 4 hours each day. It was exhausting. I am not one to typically fight a lot, but she is more apt to let her emotions out when something is bothering her and we usually fight about it. I honestly hate fighting, but I did get very upset this weekend. I was already down about her needing to work which felt like a product of her being behind at work and her ADHD keeping her from getting the work done. My intention was to leave her alone to get the things done that she needed to. Hers was to do tasks that she could do with me that still helped her with work. I don't think she really knew how to involve me though. He solution was to talk about a form she needed to fill out for her ADHD coach she just started seeing, help with the office and have me clean/do something around her the whole time, from what it sounded like. However, most of it was spent fighting because I was antsy and didn't want to do what she said.

So now we are still upset. At least I am. I completely broke down last night and then after consoling me, she got mad that I was falling asleep when she was crying. It was 10 pm and I told her I wanted to go to bed before we started fighting a hour before that. She thrives on fighting sometimes, I could swear it. I left to sleep on the couch, but she convinced me to come back to the bed only after she convinced me we just don't have to share blankets. She had been pulling them away from me leaving me exposed as a form of her anger and frustration at me going to sleep when she was still upset.

So... What do I make of this... I cant tell if I was being an asshole or she was being unreasonable. Or something else entirely.