Quote:
Originally Posted by 12AM
Your bf was yelling at you, pushed you until you fell, and said you were too dramatic just because of breakfast? This man (I would say boy because adult doesn't act like that) is clearly abusive. Yes you shouldn't cuss at his mother, because we shouldn't cuss at anyone, but you should not stay with this kind of people as well. I assumed (correct me if I am wrong), that his mother knows that he often does physical (and mental of course) abuse to you and she does nothing about it? And she always takes his side? Is that the type of family you want for the rest of yourlife?
Your mother wanted you come home. Why you care so much about someone else's mother who is not even care about you when your own mother loves you? I'd leave him and his mother, and if I couldn't do that for myself, I'd do for your mother who I believe in constant hurt from worrying about her daughter's safety and happiness.
Please stop blaming yourself, please forgive yourself, please love yourself. Making us feeling bad for defending ourself is one of old tactics from abusers to trap us in their abusive behaviours.
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but i can't. he's my only real friend and he's my best friend and i just know i'll be alone and i don't know how to leave him. i was doing that in the beginning of our relationship, but not anymore. my social anxiety and depression have gotten really bad, i should sought help, but i didn't. i stopped talking to people i used to talk to.
i've even been pushing my bf away cause i've been so depressed, we just got into another argument cause he thought i was shutting him out. i told him that i still think his mom hates me and thinks i'm the problem. cause that day after his mom and i argued, he was saying something and i kept interrupting him and they both told me to stop talking and shut up. his mom was like "shut up, let him talk," and then she said "i can see why you're always arguing with her" i really do think that this is all my fault still. idk
but then my bf said that she doesn't mind if i'm over here. i just feel like a bother. it's hard not to blame myself, this is my first real relationship with a guy and i just messed everything up. i can't even have normal relationships with people. i've fought with my mom before, i've been really disrespectful towards her, i've cussed at her. and i never payed her rent when i was living there.
and i don't even pay rent right now to my bf's mom. the only thing i usually say to her is "hi" cause i haven't been talking to anyone cause i've been so upset with myself and my social anxiety got much worse and i didn't seek help. i know i'm a mean person, everyone just thinks i'm rude. and even if i'm in a bad environment, i could leave at any time, no one forcing me to stay here. and i should have handled it differently instead of cussing out his mom. she told me to leave, and i'm still here. i don't deserve it. my bf doesn't want me to go live with my mom and i don't either. i get into argument with my mom too, it's not gonna be any better. we've gotten into physcial fights and i've gotten more bruises when i eas living with her than i did when i'm living with my bf. there's no point, i'm just the **** up. my bf said that if i just get another job (i quit my recent job cause i couldn't handle it anymore, all i would do is show up, try to hide and cry where no one could see me, then clock out) things will be back to normal and i won't have to live with my mom.